Understanding Fear.....

The topic of what to write about came up loud and clear today....F.E.A.R, and even as I started writing, resistance kicked in. So I deleted everything and went back to the drawing board, only for the energy of Fear to pop its head out and demand it be the topic of conversation...again....so here's to you my dear friend, fear.....

I recently met a soul who was deeply hurt when he was younger, by his family and a past love. From these early experiences he decided he never wanted to feel pain or suffering like that again, so he closed his heart off and never allowed himself to love freely, always keeping people at arms length. This left him feeling stuck and unhappy, it was also causing suffering and disconnect within his current relationship.

During his first healing session with me, we removed the crusty exterior, which appeared like concrete. He had created this unconsciously as a form of self protection around the heart chakra. Once this was removed I saw his heart energy radiating the most beautiful flourishing garden. It was a luscious greenery, full of flowers in bloom, bursting open with soft gentle love. I was amazed, this guy had the most beautiful heart with so much love to give and he was denying himself and those that he loved, from experiencing his true nature. He had done this for so many years purely out of fear of being hurt again.

This is not an uncommon story. I myself, had created a big chunky barrier of protection around my heart which I had learned to do from a very early age, purely out of self protection and fear of experiencing pain and suffering. It's like putting a 10ft barrier around you so no one can get in but they are close enough to enjoy a connection at a safe distance. Yep, I know what you are thinking, that's totally logical...right??! haha. But fear isn't logical. It has one job to do and that is to protect you, so it does, fiercely.

For anything that threatens your tender heart, fear wants to be your warrior. Fear of rejection or abandonment, fear of not being good enough or worthy enough, fear of loss and heartache, fear of not having enough, fear of ridicule or embarrassment, fear of the unknown, and the list goes on. And we keep piling it on. Every experience that shatters our confidence, chips away at our self esteem or experiences that validate these negative beliefs prompts fear to shovel another layer of protection on us. So we hide our true nature from the world, which evidently results in us hiding from ourselves.

Our dear friend Fear, comes from the Ego, and these guys like to play it safe. The unknown is threatening to them, it presents risk, and perceived failure, therefore preferring you to stay with what you know. But here's the thing, fear is an illusion. It's not real. So whilst it may have good intentions, this illusion ultimately robs you from living life to the fullest and prevents you from reaching your full potential, plus you still get dealt all the crap life has to offer anyway. So it's lose lose. All the firewall and anti-virus software protection we place around our hearts in the end does nothing but keep us isolated, alone and unhappy because we are denying ourselves.

Fear prevents us from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, it stops us from loving ourselves, honoring ourselves and recognizing that our true beauty is within our kindness, gentleness and compassion. These are all qualities that radiate from the heart center! Fear and the Ego can interpret these qualities as weaknesses, and that being vulnerable is weak. It also tricks us into thinking that our flaws and imperfections are unacceptable and leaves us constantly seeking validation from external sources.

But imagine if we sent Fear on a mini vacay, just for a minute. And we looked at ourselves with kindness, gentleness and compassion, we would see that these flaws and imperfections complete who we are, and that they were a gift, given to us in order to understand self love and self acceptance.

As Dr. Brené Brown put it so wisely “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they are never weaknesses.” “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.”

So give your fear a bit of a health check. Have you been letting it run rampant through your mind unsupervised? Is it dictating your every thought and emotion? Or do you have the ability to recognise fear when it tries to step in and take over? Are you constantly reactive to your environments and loved ones, or do you have the capacity to take a moment and process what you are thinking and feeling, allowing yourself to choose a healthier way of responding without projecting uncontrolled thoughts and emotions?

We are all souls wanting to love, be loved, learn, grow, evolve and heal. Life is the education center, the physical body is the vehicle we are given to navigate our way through, our thoughts and emotions are tools at our disposal to move through the lessons and the people we encounter are mirrors for us that constantly reflect where we are at in that journey.

So let us make a pact to no longer be small, at every opportunity recognise our magnificence, remind others when they cannot see it within themselves, challenge ourselves to live honestly, find strength in our vulnerability and to shine every chance we get. To love ourselves fearlessly and courageously.......